


Bricks in the Wall

by roguefaerie



Category: Babylon 5, Babylon 5 & Related Fandoms
Genre: Boundaries, Courtship, Developing Relationship, F/F, Kissing, Missing Scene, POV Susan Ivanova, Relationship Study, Telepathy, Trust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:54:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27631013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roguefaerie/pseuds/roguefaerie
Summary: Susan has long-buried needs that have nothing to do with her duty to the crew.
Relationships: Susan Ivanova/Talia Winters
Comments: 6
Kudos: 23
Collections: Mistletoe Exchange 2020





	Bricks in the Wall

**Author's Note:**

  * For [punch_kicker15](https://archiveofourown.org/users/punch_kicker15/gifts).



Later on it would be no surprise to Susan Ivanova that Talia had worn her down. She realized one day, without knowing where the idea had come from before settling in her mind, that she could not stop thinking about the telepath. She was as committed to duty as ever, but part of her was tired. A part of her was suddenly feeling unfamiliar sensations. Wishing for things. Longing for things. 

She couldn’t remember a time when duty might play second to anything else. Acknowledging other aspects of herself felt strange, uncertain. She wondered how fleeting it would all be in the end, and yet maybe she had little choice about this, too, because she could barely let the matter rest.

She would see Talia talking animatedly over a meal with someone Ivanova had never had dealings with on the station despite her rank, and find herself thinking about deft hands in those gloves. 

Susan had buried the telepathic part of her long ago with her mother’s help, but seeing Talia every day could remind her of the ways that the two of them were similar. She felt her nervousness starting to seep out, and the desire to reach out again like she always knew she could at home, when it was safe.

Even from afar, somehow Talia made her feel safe. She knew this was true, despite all of her other instincts told her she shouldn’t ever come any closer, shouldn’t ever let her guard down about a telepath.

She knew she shouldn’t and yet the desire was there. The allure of safety and home and togetherness was slowly wearing Ivanova down.

She longed to be herself with another person--another woman--who would never judge her for it.

She realized the longing was winning when she was alone in her quarters at night and started to examine the defenses she had built with her mother’s help. Her heart thudded in her ears and she felt adrenaline coursing through her despite being alone. 

She knew the risks, and she also knew that part of her--an increasingly louder part--was willing to take them for Talia Winters.

The desire was like a slow drip of unmet need that she didn’t even know was active in the back of her mind, until it was unrelenting and her feelings couldn’t be denied anymore. And still it was months before she found herself walking back to her quarters with Talia and allowing both of them to slip inside when there was no one else in the hall with them.

She let herself fiddle with tea and small snacks she kept inside her own private space, and she avoided Talia’s eyes when she could, but one meeting became two and she knew they were both proceeding at a pace Talia knew that she could handle. Talia would not allow her to break. The trust was there because both of them wanted it to be there, since Talia could have easily taken the information that Susan gave to her piecemeal in her own time.

If there were cracks in the defenses Susan had made as a child, Talia did not exploit them, and Susan’s trust in Talia grew ever stronger.

No one made any comments that Susan’s duties were slipping. There were no sly smiles--only genuine ones as the inner radiance that belonged to Susan slowly settled around her: a spring in her step and smiles for those near her at mealtimes. 

If both of them were quiet, it was not due to any amount of shame. Talia told her that she cherished those times when she did not need to do more than be, in the presence of another or on her own. Still, Talia continued to seek her company, quietly, as the quiet suited her.

Perhaps that was the greatest compliment of them all--

\--though Susan wondered when it had come to pass that she had changed so much, enough to make a compliment from a telepath as important as this was.

There was a still, small voice that reminded her this need had been with her for as long as she had lived.

And she could not ignore it anymore.

She didn’t even want to.

That could have surprised her, she supposed, but so little surprised her now that Talia was with her behind closed doors so often. 

So little surprised her that she had almost forgotten what it was like. To anticipate things. To dance in the knowing with her own abilities.

Late at night Susan was lost in dreams of kissing Talia, of bringing her closer and closer until--

\--and when it was time, Susan knew so much of what it would feel like. She knew Talia now, on a level that she had to admit only the daughter of a telepath could even dream to know her. But if Talia noticed anything about Susan’s defenses--or lack thereof--she didn’t say anything, or hadn’t yet. 

Susan was so ready. Ready in a way she might never have been before--except that she needed everything to be perfect for the moment Talia truly found out and there was no going back. 

And then suddenly the moment was there in front of her, because she simply couldn’t hold back the flood of her emotions, or her desires for closeness. She reached across to Talia, and if Talia anticipated her entirely, she didn’t let on. Talia let Susan make the decision for herself that this was it, it was finally about to happen. She and Talia were kissing in the next moment and it was everything Susan had imagined it would be--with one tiny detail.

Softly, softly, the word came from behind her long-held defenses, finally pulled back enough that a hole led from the inside of Susan’s head far forward enough that she knew--absolutely knew that Talia would hear.

She deepened the kiss and let Talia begin to lean into it as well, and then she spoke, telepathically, a simple word that meant everything.

 _Hello_.


End file.
